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News for Norther Colorado and the world

Saturday, June 24, 2017

Humor is the Cure: After a Long Winters Nap

By Gerri Hunter

My calendar says spring is here. I had a nice winter’s nap and now I’m expected to change gears in March and start mowing the grass. Oh, no. The lawn mower. I put a liquid in with the fuel last autumn. The mower was to start easily this spring. Well, that’s what the can’s label said would happen. No. I tried starting it today. It sputtered and started for eight seconds. It died. I repeated pulling the rope until my arm was numb. I examined the spark plug and I stared at the engine. I kicked the tires and stared at the paint. There has to be a magic incantation a person can say over a mower to make it run properly. But, what would it be?

I think there is a sinister spirit living inside my lawn mower, and he takes up residence in any mower I purchase. I currently own three and none of them work. The naughty spirit is laughing at me.

There has to be an easier way. There is! I’ll hire a twenty-something year old man who lives in my town to mow my yard. He has lots of customers and he’s good. And I’m tired. So tired. I’ll get out the checkbook this year and pay him to do the work.

And, what will I do with all the extra time on my hands? Here are some ideas. I found a 1960’s chaise lounge last autumn at a rummage sale. This is a top-of-the-line model and it’s in great shape. I intend to enjoy it this year. I’ll walk in the neighborhood to stay in shape. I’ll do some volunteer work. I’ll start a few tomato plants from seed on the window sill. Oh, yes. There’s one more thing. I’m going to roll my mower into the alley and set it on fire. Those are my spring plans. How about yours?

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