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News for Norther Colorado and the world

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Rick Perry, God and Me: When I Got the Call

Political satire by Katha Pollitt, 

Trying to find humor in politics

 

 

Rick Perry, God and Me: When I Got the Call

By Katha Pollitt

God called me a couple of months ago and told me to run for president. It was late at night, and he had this weird voice. It sounded like he’d been drinking, so I hung up on him

He called me back a few nights later. He explained that he’d been experimenting with a new voice—instead of deep and gravelly, nudgy and insinuating, like Jon Lovitz. He’d read this worked for picking up women—you acted critical, and that made them want to please you. Jon Lovitz has a lot of girlfriends? I asked, but as would be the case throughout our conversations, God refused to divulge celebrity gossip. He asked if I had given more thought to a presidential run. He promised to give me Karl Rove’s super-private cellphone number and raise lots of campaign cash through the churches. I thought churches aren’t supposed to endorse political candidates, I said. My, you are naïve, he said in his Jon Lovitz voice, but I didn’t fall for it. He was just giving me “the neg” so I would do what he wanted. I told him I was going to sleep and turned off my phone. Read More    

 

 

 

 

 

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