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News for Norther Colorado and the world

Thursday, September 29, 2016

Posts Tagged ‘humor’

Cow Psychology 101

Cow Psychology 101

      By Daris Howard   It was springtime, and we were reaching the end of our winter’s hay supply. The pastures were not yet dry enough for the cows to graze, so we hoped that what we had would hold out until they were. Hay prices had nearly doubled during the winter, and if we had to buy more hay, our costs would exceed our income from the milk. At this critical time, we made a terrible discovery. The tarps that had been covering the last portion of the hay had frayed, ... Full Story

Slices of Life: Hairballs and terrorists – pains in

Slices of Life: Hairballs and terrorists – pains in the gut

By: Jill Pertler I was all set to write this week’s column about hairballs. You, know, the gut-wrenching bane of fastidiously clean cats. I came up with the topic out of guilt. I should have written about it last week, but the royal hullabaloo distracted me and I missed National Hairball Awareness Day – a blip on the calendar I think we all agree is worthy of our attention. Even if you are not a cat. So I figured hairballs would get their time in the spotlight this week. Then another ... Full Story

Slices of Life: Kindness worth a tail wag

Slices of Life: Kindness worth a tail wag

      By: Jill Pertler   I love kind-hearted friends. You know, the type of person who brings a stray dog home from the park and gives him food and water and never once says, “If we feed him he’ll never leave.” Those kind of friends. After the dog’s belly is full, a kind-hearted person will comb the tangled mats out of his hair and give him a warm bath, during which she will discover that his fur is creamy white and not dark brown after all. When a kind-hearted ... Full Story

Slices of Life: Countdown to royal love

Slices of Life: Countdown to royal love

  By: Jill Pertler   I don’t give a shilling about the Royal Wedding. There, I said it out loud and lightning didn’t strike me down. Bloody well thought it might. Perhaps such a lack of imperial interest warrants an apology. I am not intrigued, excited, anticipatory or enthralled. Am I the only one? I am not anti-royalty. I am sure I would consider Kate and William just smashing if we met up over a couple of pints or perchance a spot of tea. They’ll make a great prince and ... Full Story

The taxing of my fragile sanity

Rev. James L. Snyder I'm fine now, but such was not the case this past week. Normally, I am not given to procrastination, except when it comes to giving my money away. I am not Mr. Scrooge but I am Mr. Fugal. I always pay my income tax but I also wait until the last minute to write that check and autograph it for good old Uncle Sam. I was thankful to have several extra days to do it this year. Instead of April 15, the government extended to April 18. I am not sure the reason nor do I care to ... Full Story

Slices of Life – Now Hiring

Slices of Life – Now Hiring

By: Jill Pertler Help wanted: Must be available nights, weekends, legal holidays, as well as any and all odd hours on days ending with the letter Y. Early morning work slots expected and required. Vacation not guaranteed. Sick time unavailable. Both male and female applicants are encouraged to apply. Terms of employment: Tenure of position will be measured in 18-year increments, renewable without prior notice or approval. Job duties and responsibilities may double or triple (or even quadruple) ... Full Story

One man’s joke is another man’s hug

Rev. James L. Snyder To anybody that knows me, (and can anybody really know anybody else?); they would readily affirm that I am not addicted to hugging. Let me point out very quickly I am not allergic to it either. I just believe a good hearty handshake says everything I want to say to anybody I meet. This is biblical. The Bible talks about extending to one another the right hand of fellowship, and nothing says it better than a firm, hearty handshake. Anyway, that's my story and I'm sticking ... Full Story

Slices of Life-The awkward hug

Slices of Life-The awkward hug

    By: Jill Pertler   Some people are natural-born huggers. I learned this about Mike right from the start – he was a hugging friend. Always glad to run into you and willing to prove his point with a spontaneous and heartfelt embrace. Everyone has a friend like Mike. If you don’t, you should. I can’t say he and I were the closest of friends. He just made me feel that way. That’s how Mike was. So, earlier this year when he showed up on the bleachers in the row in front ... Full Story

A really short history of broccoli

  Rev. James L. Snyder Have you ever had serious second thoughts about something? Of course, I usually have severe trouble with establishing first thoughts. But once I have finished a serious thought I like put it behind me and go on with life. For example. For years, people have been telling me how harmful drinking coffee is. Something to do, so they tell me, with being addicted to caffeine. Then, if I cannot give up coffee, I am to limit the number of cups of coffee I drink per day. This ... Full Story

Slices of Life, Doggone good advice from the Cat

Slices of Life, Doggone good advice from the Cat

By: Jill Pertler Meow. It’s me again, the Cat. You may remember my discourse from a previous occasion. Today I’ve brought my vast cat intelligence to fill your ordinary day with a dose of feline insight. Lucky you. I’ll let you in on a little secret: I have the universe at my whiskertips and I’m not afraid to say so. Cats rule the world. Oh sure, humans pay the rent, but we control the house – and all the contents therein. Including the dog. Take my dog (and I mean that in the literal ... Full Story

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