Posts Tagged ‘humor’
Slices of Life, A message to my favorite child
By: Jill Pertler Every mother has a favorite – or so the saying goes. Before becoming a mother myself, I wondered if this were true. A mother’s love is complete and unconditional, but not perfect. How can a mother love all her children equally? The answer is simple: she can’t. I am here today to come clean with each of my children. Ahem. Pause. Here goes. My dearest first-born child: I have something important to tell you. You suffered through rookie parents who ... Full Story
Dealing with my recent drug problem
Rev. James L. Snyder It all began for me about four months ago. I was busy with my work when the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage came and interrupted me. Really, I do not mind interruptions. An interruption, from anybody, is a wonderful excuse to stop what you are doing and take a break. The older I get the more breaks I seem to need. "I think we ought to take a vacation," she said. Well, when my wife comes up with a good idea she comes up with a good idea! I did not know if we were voting ... Full Story
Slices of Life: A love story
Bickering: a love story By: Jill Pertler We were busy bickering – like couples can bicker after two or 12 or 20 years of marriage. He made breakfast five mornings in a row. I folded eight loads of laundry. He fed the dog and took out the garbage. I fed the fish and cleaned the toilets. I made meatloaf. He shoveled the driveway. I helped with homework. He served as field trip chaperone. I packed bagged lunches. He drove the kids to school. Finally, it was Friday and we were both ... Full Story
Slices of Life
Counting your friends By Jill Pertler I lost a friend yesterday. It wasn’t due to accident, injury, death or any other natural causes. I suffered a digital loss. Not of the finger or toe variety, but of the computer kind. Facebook-related. Yesterday, I visited the social networking site and noted I had 151 friends. Today, when I ventured back to my page, the number had dipped to 150. There could be only one explanation. I’d been unfriended. Usually, Facebook is associated ... Full Story
Slices of Life
The great toothbrush takeover By Jill Pertler Something is awry around here. I believe my household slipped through a wormhole and the rules of the cosmic universe are no longer in effect. In other words, my life is spinning out of control and reality’s gone right along with it. Something’s fishy with the toothbrushes. My family possesses six sets of teeth (not counting the dog); therefore logic would dictate a total of six toothbrushes should reside in my bathroom (as the ... Full Story
Slices of Life, by Jill Pertler
A woman who tells you where to go By: Jill Pertler My husband has a new lady friend. He shares her with our three sons, who are also sweet on the most recent family acquaintance. They are, in a word, enamored. Under normal circumstances, I might feel threatened – what with my four guys throwing their rapt attention toward another woman’s voice – but these aren’t normal circumstances. That’s because the woman in question, we call her “Carmen,” isn’t a female in the true sense ... Full Story