Posts Tagged ‘humor’
Life’s Outtakes: A Relative Disaster
A Relative Disaster By Daris Howard The church bulletin carried a notice for a genealogy class that was going to be offered in our local community. A friend of mine joked that I ought to take it to help me find out why I’m so nutty. “Maybe you will learn that you have had squirrels in your family tree.” “Very funny,” I replied. But I must admit that the thought intrigued me. I have some old aunts that work on this kind of thing all of the time. They can tell me who my ... Full Story
Visiting my family is a relative experience
By Rev. James L. Snyder I was reminded recently that the only thing growing in my family tree are fruits and nuts. Personally, I am not sure if I am a fruit or a nut. Just do not ask my wife. I had been away for so long I had forgotten many things about my family. My recent visit served as a refresher course reminding me why I had moved away in the first place. Memory sometimes pays little tricks causing us to remember the "good old days" and forgetting that sprinkled in among the good ... Full Story
Why I Am A Teacher
By Daris Howard It was summer graduation day at the university where I work and a beautiful day it was, unlike the first graduation I attended as a young professor. That one was in April and the cold south wind had swirled the snow around us. On that day, as we watched the students file past, one of my more seasoned colleagues, who was also my mentor, turned to me and said, “Graduation will be one of the happiest and one of the saddest times of your life.” When I asked him why it was ... Full Story
Life’s Outtakes: A little bit of motivation
By Daris Howard Arden stormed into the house and dropped into a chair, tired and discouraged. His wife, Rachel, brought him a cold drink of water. “How’s the harvest going, Dear?” He shook his head. “Not well. With all of the men gone off to fight Hitler, getting the beets topped and off to market seems impossible. I thought it was an answer to my prayers when they decided to let the schools out for harvest so the boys could help. But they have no motivation to ... Full Story
A Technology World
By Daris Howard I had been grading papers all day, and I was exhausted. As the work day ended and I left my office, it felt good to step out into the fresh air. I decided to take a longer route to the parking lot to see if I could clear the cobwebs from my head. As I turned the last corner, about 100 yards from where I was parked, I joined a couple of young men who were coming from the lower part of campus. Their clothes were rough and their appearance unkempt. They looked ... Full Story
Slices of Life: There’s an app for that
By: Jill Pertler I come from a generation where an application was something you filled out when you wanted a job. TV (all five channels of it) was in 2D. Phones were unitaskers and could hardly be described as smart. Times have changed. At least they are changing at my house. This week, we got our first smartphone – which, by logical inference, makes us a “smartfamily.” Or, since the phone belongs to my husband, maybe he’s the smart one. We’re not sure, because ... Full Story
Keeping A Promise
By Daris Howard I had recently arrived in New York and met the group of young men I was going to be working with. I had heard that they often played tricks on the new arrivals, so I was wary. We had a regional meeting coming up, and the more experienced young men gathered around to give me some advice. John, the one that I would be working most closely with, started off. “When we go to the conference, there is a young lady that will be there that you definitely must meet. Look at the ... Full Story
Life’s Outtakes – The Contest For The Best
By Daris Howard I was practicing the 100 meter hurdles when a young man came running up to me. “Coach wants you in his office immediately! ” I hurried in, and found three other young men already there. Coach frowned as I entered. “Kinda slow, Howard. ” “Sorry, Sir, ” I replied. “I was at the track. ” Coach turned so he could face all four of us. “You are to report to the journalism room. ” “Should we change first? ” I asked. “No, and there’s no time for that ... Full Story
Slices of Life, Our house rules
Slices of Life By: Jill Pertler The title of this column may lead you to believe I entertain a lofty perception of my house – as in my house rules the universe. While that may be true (but not really), the “rules” cited in the title refer to a noun, not a verb. Rules: Directives involving the correct time to go to bed, the necessity of frequent tooth brushing and the value of vegetables. In other words, the things every kid detests. I penned the following tidbits of wisdom during ... Full Story
High inflation reaches a new low
By Rev. James L. Snyder I am not usually given to protesting much of anything these days. "Live and let live," is the motto I go by and up until now, it has served me rather well and I have no complaints. I must confess, however, that recently I have been challenged in this area of my life. I have tried to keep my cool and have succeeded to a minimal success. I know one of these days I am going to turn into Popeye where he says, "That's all I can stands, I can't stands n'more?" Then, look ... Full Story