Posts Tagged ‘Jill Pertler’
Slices of Life: There’s an app for that
By: Jill Pertler I come from a generation where an application was something you filled out when you wanted a job. TV (all five channels of it) was in 2D. Phones were unitaskers and could hardly be described as smart. Times have changed. At least they are changing at my house. This week, we got our first smartphone – which, by logical inference, makes us a “smartfamily.” Or, since the phone belongs to my husband, maybe he’s the smart one. We’re not sure, because ... Full Story
Slices of Life, Our house rules
Slices of Life By: Jill Pertler The title of this column may lead you to believe I entertain a lofty perception of my house – as in my house rules the universe. While that may be true (but not really), the “rules” cited in the title refer to a noun, not a verb. Rules: Directives involving the correct time to go to bed, the necessity of frequent tooth brushing and the value of vegetables. In other words, the things every kid detests. I penned the following tidbits of wisdom during ... Full Story
Slices of Life: Hairballs and terrorists – pains in
By: Jill Pertler I was all set to write this week’s column about hairballs. You, know, the gut-wrenching bane of fastidiously clean cats. I came up with the topic out of guilt. I should have written about it last week, but the royal hullabaloo distracted me and I missed National Hairball Awareness Day – a blip on the calendar I think we all agree is worthy of our attention. Even if you are not a cat. So I figured hairballs would get their time in the spotlight this week. Then another ... Full Story
Slices of Life: Kindness worth a tail wag
By: Jill Pertler I love kind-hearted friends. You know, the type of person who brings a stray dog home from the park and gives him food and water and never once says, “If we feed him he’ll never leave.” Those kind of friends. After the dog’s belly is full, a kind-hearted person will comb the tangled mats out of his hair and give him a warm bath, during which she will discover that his fur is creamy white and not dark brown after all. When a kind-hearted ... Full Story
Slices of Life: Countdown to royal love
By: Jill Pertler I don’t give a shilling about the Royal Wedding. There, I said it out loud and lightning didn’t strike me down. Bloody well thought it might. Perhaps such a lack of imperial interest warrants an apology. I am not intrigued, excited, anticipatory or enthralled. Am I the only one? I am not anti-royalty. I am sure I would consider Kate and William just smashing if we met up over a couple of pints or perchance a spot of tea. They’ll make a great prince and ... Full Story
Slices of Life – Now Hiring
By: Jill Pertler Help wanted: Must be available nights, weekends, legal holidays, as well as any and all odd hours on days ending with the letter Y. Early morning work slots expected and required. Vacation not guaranteed. Sick time unavailable. Both male and female applicants are encouraged to apply. Terms of employment: Tenure of position will be measured in 18-year increments, renewable without prior notice or approval. Job duties and responsibilities may double or triple (or even quadruple) ... Full Story
Slices of Life-The awkward hug
By: Jill Pertler Some people are natural-born huggers. I learned this about Mike right from the start – he was a hugging friend. Always glad to run into you and willing to prove his point with a spontaneous and heartfelt embrace. Everyone has a friend like Mike. If you don’t, you should. I can’t say he and I were the closest of friends. He just made me feel that way. That’s how Mike was. So, earlier this year when he showed up on the bleachers in the row in front ... Full Story
Slices of Life, Doggone good advice from the Cat
By: Jill Pertler Meow. It’s me again, the Cat. You may remember my discourse from a previous occasion. Today I’ve brought my vast cat intelligence to fill your ordinary day with a dose of feline insight. Lucky you. I’ll let you in on a little secret: I have the universe at my whiskertips and I’m not afraid to say so. Cats rule the world. Oh sure, humans pay the rent, but we control the house – and all the contents therein. Including the dog. Take my dog (and I mean that in the literal ... Full Story
Slices of Life, A message to my favorite child
By: Jill Pertler Every mother has a favorite – or so the saying goes. Before becoming a mother myself, I wondered if this were true. A mother’s love is complete and unconditional, but not perfect. How can a mother love all her children equally? The answer is simple: she can’t. I am here today to come clean with each of my children. Ahem. Pause. Here goes. My dearest first-born child: I have something important to tell you. You suffered through rookie parents who ... Full Story
Slices of Life: A love story
Bickering: a love story By: Jill Pertler We were busy bickering – like couples can bicker after two or 12 or 20 years of marriage. He made breakfast five mornings in a row. I folded eight loads of laundry. He fed the dog and took out the garbage. I fed the fish and cleaned the toilets. I made meatloaf. He shoveled the driveway. I helped with homework. He served as field trip chaperone. I packed bagged lunches. He drove the kids to school. Finally, it was Friday and we were both ... Full Story